DREAMER

I guess I would describe myself as a bit of a dreamer. I am definitely not a realist which can get me into trouble at times. Thankfully Adam is the realist in our marriage, which provides a good balance.

Lately I have been dreaming about my life, our future, and our family adventures.

Over the last 7.5 months as a new mom I have battled with feeling like I needed to be this perfect, responsible, realistic, Martha Stewart type mom and wife. A mom who knows how to sew her own baby clothes, make gourmet dinners each night, and keep the house perfectly neat and tidy. I am not sure where this pressure came from, I think I adopted some of it from our culture and some of it I just put on myself.

I felt that I needed to let go of my old self and embrace a new self. I felt like my old self wasn't adult enough. Yet I really struggled because I felt comfortable in my old skin, I liked who I had become, I enjoyed being me (I know that sounds strange to say).

Over the last few months as I have prayed about this dichotomy going on in my heart. I have realized that I am a different person than I was before Harper, but that doesn't mean that I have to trade who I was for someone different. I feel like God has shown me that I am free to be me. I don't have to fit into a certain mold.

I desire to walk with Him and to allow him to change the places in my heart that need to be changed but I can still be me. This has been so fun and freeing and I feel like I can dream again and I feel that God has replaced some feelings of insecurity with self confidence.

Here are a few of my dreams. I know that some may be unrealistic but that is why I have this blog to give me a place to DREAM

* GO ON A MISSION TRIP: I have never been on a mission trip and would love to go one day with our community group and all of our families.

* LEARN TO PLAY THE GUITAR: I have always loved to sing and a few years ago I got a guitar a for Christmas. I took a few lessons and could play a few worship songs but then life got busy and I stopped practicing. I would love to dust off my guitar, which is located in our downstairs coat closet and get it re-strung and re-tuned and learn to play again. If you know someone who can help let me know.

* RUN ANOTHER MARATHON: I love how running provides an outlet for me to relax and not think about anything. I can get into my zone and just enjoy the beauty of the outdoors. I would love to train for one more race before we start trying to have another baby.

* GO BACKPACKING: When I was in college I worked at a summer camp in Ocoee Tenn, I was a camp counselor and led backpacking trips through the Smokey Mountains. I loved the beauty of the mountains and the chance to get away from the world. I would love to go on a backpacking trip with Adam once Harper is done nursing. I would love to hike a stretch of the Appalachian Trail.

* TRAVEL TO: Costa Rica and do the adventure thing, go on a cruise to Alaska, go to Greece, Italy, Australia and New Zealand. I want to go and not have an agenda and just explore as we go along.

* LEARN TO SEW: I am definately not an artistic person but would really love to sew. I want to make clothes for Harper, little pillow covers and anything else that is interesting. I think that sewing is becoming a bit of a lost art


These are just a few of my dreams for now. I will post more as they come to mind. DREAM ON DREAMERS and SHARE your DREAMS with ME!

PURITY

In an effort to be a little more intentional about praying for Harper, Adam and I have decided to choose a biblical characteristic or trait that we hope Harper will embody. We are going to pick a new one each week and pray the verses that go along with that trait. This week we decided to choose PURITY. Pray along with us if you will.

After watching a few shows on t.v. this week I was so saddend by the culture and world that we live in. The way that children are sexually abused, neglected, mistreated and preyed upon makes me so angry and terrified for our children to grow up. I was struck by this verse, To the pure all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe nothing is pure, in fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted . They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. Titius 1:15-16. This is the world we live in an imperfect world for sure.

It is so frustrating because when I look into the face of any newborn baby. I feel like I can see the face of God, so pure and innocent, unaffected by society, evil, our culture. They were freshly created by a perfect God. Then they enter the world and and are at the hand's of imperfect people. These imperfect people (I being one of them) try to mold and shape the child into who they think they should be often without asking God (their creator) for his help. This is where we go wrong.

It is so crazy to think that our children will grow up in an even different culture than we did. They will have access to cell phones, computers, text messaging, social networking sites, etc. These are things I did not have access to until college. Seriously I did not have a cell phone until I went to college.

I know that when I fear anything the best way to respond is to stop and pray.

As I was looking up Scripture to pray for Harper I was reminded and convicted that none of us are pure or without sin (except for God) and thanked God for his provision through his son Jesus Christ on the cross. Thank God that he cleanses me of all my unrighteousness.

My favorite verse seemed to sum it up.

Deut 31:19
I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice and hold fast to him.

I loved this verse because it reminded me that both Harper and I face choices each day. Will we make choices that bring us LIFE or choices that cause death. My prayer for our family is that we would choose LIFE. I pray that for her purity in body, mind, heart, and action. I pray that she would evaluate each decision asking herself is there LIFE there? If there is any question in her mind that there is not then I pray that she would make the right decision. I pray that God would create in her a pure heart and renew a steadfast spirit within her (Psalm 5:10) when the world creeps in and trys to decieve her.

God, help us to think about and invest in things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.

Thank you for the gift of a precious daughter. I pray that you would help Adam and I to care and steward her well.

Grandparents are the best babysiters

ODE TO MY MOM

Mother

And she traveled the journey before you,

She has known all the cost of the way.

She paid out the price to its fullness,

That Motherhood only can pay.

She loved when the world was against you

She hoped-when your hope sank and died.

She clung to your hand when the clinging, Left scars in her heart, deep and wide.

She labored-and loved and was happy,

For down deep in her kind heart she knew

Your kindness and love would repay her

For all that she did-just for you


Thanks mom! You have been an amazing, beautiful, sweet, caring, kind, loving, faithful, encouraging, and Godly mom. I am so thankful for you and the way that you raised me and for always reminding me how much you loved me. I appreciate the hard work and thankless effort you put into raising us. I am forever grateful and I pray that I will be the kind of mother to Harper that you are to me. I am truly blessed.

Love,

Sara

Atlanta or Bust

So my best friend since I was a kid lives in Atlanta. Her name is Grayson (one of the most beautiful names and beautiful people in the world) We met in 3rd grade and I moved at the end of my 6th grade year and we have remained great friends despite the miles between us. We have grown up together and seen each other through many of life changes and stages.

She came to Dallas a few months ago for a short weekend to meet Harper which was so much fun but when she left I just wished we could have spent a little more time together.
Well I found out Wednesday that she is going to be in Austin this weekend for a bachelorette party. I knew that I wanted to get in the car and drive the 3 hours to Austin to see her. However, life with a baby can make spur of the moment last minute trips a little difficult. After talking with Adam and thinking about all the logistics we decided it would be best not to go just for one day.

I told my mom about the situation and that I was a little dissapointed because we haven't got to spend that much time together over the last 5 years. I told her that it would be hard knowing that she is in the same state as me and I can't see her. This morning my mom called and said she had a surprise for me. She had 2 free airline tickets that had to be used before April 30th (within the next 2 weeks) and that we should use them to visit Grayson in Atlanta next week. So next week we are going to Atlanta!!. Yippee!

A few of my recent favorites

Modeling her bathing suit that grammy got her
Ready to crawl
Hanging out in my bumbo
Sweet cheeks

Happy Easter